she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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