Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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