sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
