I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I touched a dick in church today
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
