TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize