You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
