Walk of Shame. In a state park.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
