I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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