so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
