I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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