I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
