Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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