also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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