Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can I color on your dick again?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
