my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
