hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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