You smell like stripper and shame
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You are a genius and a whore.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
