careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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