Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
