Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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