I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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