As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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