right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
