I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
