why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize