the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
