I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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