my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
