On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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