Im at strip club and am horny
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
