Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
