Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
