Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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