reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
