My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
