Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
