Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
