Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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