"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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