The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
