You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
