drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
