Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
