So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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