We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
