You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
