oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
