I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
