You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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