I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize