If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He passed out mid-signature
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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