At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just had sex on a roof
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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