I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Randomize