I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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