All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
