You smell like stripper and shame
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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