Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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