Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
