i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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