Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize