i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
now i know why i became what i already was.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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