Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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