Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
love makes seman taste better
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
