I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
