Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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