i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
