I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
