..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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