The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
