I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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