I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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